Whether you’re looking for the perfect gift for the coffee lover in your life or just wanting to publicly proclaim your own affection for everyone’s favorite bean juice, a funny coffee shirt is the answer.
We’ve rounded up 28 of the best funny coffee shirts, from the cynical and sarcastic to light and irreverent, so you’re sure to find just the right design to express yourself.
1. First I drink the coffee, then I do the things
Tired of explaining to your co-workers that you can’t be expected to get to work before your first cup of java? Next time, just point to this shirt and let it do the talking for you.
It’s available in both men’s and women’s sizes, and in a variety of neutral colors like white, black, and shades of gray and blue.
2. Touch my coffee, and I’ll slap you
For the lover of cats and coffee with just a touch of a violent streak, this shirt covers all the bases. It reads “Touch My Coffee I Will Slap You So Hard Even Google Won’t Be Able to Find You,” so it’s entirely possible that computer nerds will find some joy in this one too.
It comes in an assortment of fun colors, like lemon and grass, as well as more neutral grays and whites. Both men’s and women’s sizes are available.
3. A day without coffee is like…
For the coffee obsessive who can’t picture a day without coffee and spends their spare time enjoying coffee memes, this shirt gets it, proudly proclaiming “A day without coffee is like… Just kidding… I have no idea.”
This shirt is a beautifully soft poly/cotton blend, available in three retro-style heather colors: black, green, and light blue. It comes in men’s sizing only.
4. I like my coffee on the dark side
You might be surprised by the overlap between coffee lovers and science fiction geeks, but the t-shirt industry isn’t. There are plenty of hilarious shirts catering to both demographics at once – like this one, featuring the profile of Darth Vader.
It’s available in ten different colors and sizes for men, women, and youth. But let’s hope the youth buyers skew more Star Wars fans and less coffee addicts.
5. I don’t rise and shine
The perfect shirt for the coffee lover who isn’t a morning person, or perhaps just the perfect shirt for our current global challenges. “I don’t rise and shine, I caffeinate and hope for the best,” is a sentiment many can relate to right now. So why not wear it proudly? And don’t worry, the fun font and friendly design keep it from feeling like a downer.
6. I drink a lot of water
It’s always important to read the fine print, and this shirt is just one example. “I drink a lot of water. Filtered water. Filtered through coffee grinds. Coffee. I drink a lot of coffee.” But hey, coffee is 98% water, right? The shirt doesn’t lie.
Available for men and women in five different colors.
7. I like coffee and maybe 3 people
Coffee-loving introverts, this is your shirt! Want something to wear to the coffee shop to dissuade unwanted advances from strangers while simultaneously charming your favorite barista? Here it is, the ideal shirt to wear while scrolling coffee Instagram accounts and avoiding social interactions.
It’s an ultra-soft poly/cotton blend and comes in women’s sizes only, in five vintage-looking colors: gray, blue, purple, pink, and red.
8. I just want to drink coffee and snuggle with my dog
Is there a more relatable sentiment during the cold winter months? This shirt says what most dog owners are thinking all the time anyway, so why not wear it loud and proud?
It’s just available in the one color, a stylish heather gray, and sized for dog moms.
9. Coffee completes me
Do you know that scene from Friends when Rachel proclaims she doesn’t need a job or her parents’ money because she’s got great boots? If that’s how you feel about coffee, you’re going to want this “I need coffee” t-shirt that gets straight to the point.
Some of us need coffee to start being productive in the morning, others need coffee just to put us in the right frame of mind. If you fall into the latter camp, then this V-neck t-shirt is the way to show the world that you’ve had your morning brew and are ready to face reality with a smile!
11. Dunkie junkie
The perfect gift for the Dunkin’ Donuts lover in your life, or the perfect way to showcase your own brand loyalty. This shirt, available in ten colors for men, women, and children, proudly proclaims its enthusiasm for the popular coffee and donuts chain. If you like Dunkin’ so much you’re willing to be their unpaid spokesmodel, add this to your cart.
12. Coffee, because murder is wrong
This shirt might read as more dark than funny if not for the fact that the potential murderer in question is a cartoon cat enjoying a mug of coffee. If you have a bit of a cynical side – and a lot of trouble acting pleasant before that first dose of caffeine – then this t-shirt is the one for you.
13. Mug shot
If you consider puns the highest form of humor, then you’ll appreciate the simple wit of this t-shirt, which features a felonius coffee mug along with its name and serial number. But the real question is, what was his crime?
14. Step aside coffee, this is a job for alcohol
When you’re facing a problem that even caffeine can’t tackle, this is the shirt to have in your arsenal. Sometimes something a little stronger is warranted, and this t-shirt understands. It’s available in men’s and women’s sizes, but thankfully not children’s.
15. It’s coffee o’clock
The best thing about this t-shirt? If you wear it all day, it’s always coffee o’clock! If you’re looking for an excuse to drink coffee whenever, wherever, here it is. Just put this shirt on, and if anyone questions that 7 p.m. coffee you’re savoring, you’ll be able to point at it.
16. Addicted to the pot
Another shirt for the pun-loving coffee fiends, because there is more than one kind of pot. If you’re addicted to the kind that brews your coffee, then there’s no reason not to wear it loud and proud on your shirt. If you’re addicted to any other kind, you might want to check the laws in your jurisdiction first.
17. I will start working when my coffee does
This might not be the right sentiment for an EMT or other such time-sensitive, life-saving job. But plenty of office workers are going to be able to relate to waiting for that first caffeinated boost before diving into the morning’s drudgery. Just maybe don’t flaunt this t-shirt in front of your boss.
18. That’s what I do
What do you do? If you drink coffee, hate people, and know things, then you’re in luck! They made a shirt just for you. This retro-styled t-shirt is perfectly irreverent, right down to the grumpy, coffee-drinking bear that is somehow just right despite having no relation to the slogan at all.
19. Coffee makes me feel less murdery
How dark is too dark? That’s a question you’ll have to answer for yourself before you sport this t-shirt around town. But if you’ve got a cynical side and a social circle who can take a joke – and who are reasonably confident you won’t murder them, coffee or no – then this funny shirt is going to go over very well.
If you want to give it a more positive vibe, opt for the light pink or baby blue color.
20. Caffeine molecule
For the coffee nerd who is also a science nerd, this shirt makes for the perfect inside joke among your like-minded friends. It’s a simple picture of the molecular structure of caffeine, and it’s not even labeled as such. So you either need to know your science or know your caffeine to be in on the joke.
21. Nightmare before coffee
For the lover of both coffee and Tim Burton movies, this t-shirt will be hard to resist. A play on the 1990s cult classic, The Nightmare Before Christmas, this shirt works on many levels. Are you a nightmare before coffee? Does waking life feel like a nightmare before you’ve had your coffee? Confound passersby while paying homage to this great film.
22. My coffee and I are having a moment
This fun shirt expresses a feeling we’ve all experienced. That feeling of “just let me finish this coffee before I have to face whatever crisis comes next.” That feeling of “this caffeinated cup of hot bean juice might very well be the best part of my whole day.” Relatable? Then you’ll love this t-shirt. And that goes double if you also love cats.
23. Coffee ‘til cocktails
If you love everyone’s favorite evening intoxicant, alcohol, as much as everyone’s favorite morning drug, caffeine, then this shirt is the ideal way to express yourself publicly. Suitable for both coffee drinkers and baristas, it makes clear that your day is just a journey from one beverage to the next.
24. Coffee owls
Owls have been having a bit of a moment as of late, and their comically large eyeballs, especially when drawn as cartoons, make them the perfect foil for caffeine-related humor. If you’re an espresso lover who knows the feeling of drinking so many shots your eyes feel jacked open, you should be wearing this shirt.
25. Espresso patronum
A pun on the spell Expecto Patronum, this shirt is for fans of both espresso and Harry Potter. In the book series, Expecto Patronum is one of the most powerful defensive spells a wizard can cast. And in the real world, I expect many of us feel the same way about our coffee.
26. Stressed, blessed, and coffee obsessed
Do you like coffee? Do you like rhymes? Do you like the letter S? Then boy, do I have the shirt for you! Available for men and women, this shirt proudly states that even though things are hard right now, there is plenty to be grateful for – for example, coffee.
27. My coffee moods
If you find that your moods revolve around the presence or absence of coffee in your life, then you’re not alone. So does the adorable cartoon kitten on this shirt. Not only is this shirt cute and clever, but it can serve as a helpful guide to friends and co-workers regarding your current state of mind.
28. World’s okayest barista
Last but not least, one for the baristas. This is just the shirt for a professional barista with the confidence and sense of irony to pull it off, or for the mediocre barista with an honest streak.
Just don’t gift it to your coffee obsessed friend unless you’re sure they can take a joke. Not certain? Consider one of these great gifts for coffee lovers instead.
Did you like this article? Are you inspired to update your wardrobe to reflect your passion for coffee?
Let us know in the comments below which coffee graphic tees or t-shirts with coffee sayings perfectly describe your love affair with your morning cuppa joe. And don’t forget to share this list with all your coffee loving friends.